Malice in Wonderland.

I want the deepest, darkest, sickest parts of you that you are afraid to share with anyone because I love you that much. And now I'm showing you mine. I'm but an average, untalented girl living in suburbia attempting self-discovery. I am ordinary. I live an easy life and yet I'm still unhappy; I'm hoping keeping track of my thoughts will make this easier to understand. I care little for other people's emotions. I lie to others to make my own life easier, but not ever to ease their suffering. I will not lie to you. My thoughts are my own, not easy words fed to me by my parents or my government. I am part of no church, and I believe in no god. The only thing I need to be saved from is my own mental unrest. I ate his heart then I swallowed his brain. If you don't love me back, I'll do it again.

November 22 - The ninth circle of hell is the phrase, “Girls never go for the nice guys.”

I have been called an extremist before. Which usually serves as a laugh, because obviously someone who calls a seventeen year old blogger an extremist has no concept of suicide bombings, occults, or genocide. But truthfully, there are times when I feel like devising a plot to kill off the entirety of the human race. This is one of them.

Welcome to The Nice Guy. An actual website about the fact (fact, people. Factual fact) that all women are ugly fat whores, unless they offer you sex, then they’re some bomb ass pussy, but still whores. And American women? The scum of the earth. Nothing but obese, cystic-acne covered cum dumpsters who do nothing but eat McDonalds and fuck jerks while withholding sex from the kind and loyal women-loving Nice Guys™ of the internet.

I really wish I could say I was joking, but this website is legit and has been up for ten years. Yeah, you’re not alone in the urge to stab yourself.

I’ll go over again the difference between a nice guy and a Nice Guy™.

Nice guys

treat you as any normal friend would
joke with you
hang out with you
have cool conversations with you
sometimes compliment you
do you favors
sometimes buy you dinner
sometimes watch movies with you
sometimes get you birthday or holiday presents
never pressure you
never belittle you
respect your right to date who you want
give advise and/or opinions on who you date when asked, but remain respectful
respect your right to make your own decisions
make an effort to take your opinions into consideration
don’t shove their beliefs down your throat
are open minded
view all of their friends, female or male, as equals

Nice Guys™

buy you dinner, and expect sex as a reward
take you to the movies, and expect sex as a reward
listen to you talk about dudes you’ve dated, then call them jerks, and expect sex as a reward
cuddle with you, and expect sex as a reward
give you advise, and expect sex as a reward
give you a birthday gift, and expect sex as a reward
go through the trauma of hanging out with your family, and expect sex as a reward
compliment you, and expect sex as a reward
talk to you in any capacity, and expect sex as a reward
will not beat you, and expect sex as a reward
will not drug you, and expect sex as a reward
will not belittle you to your face, and expect sex as a reward
will not rape you, and expect sex as a reward
basically expect sex as a reward for breathing oxygen
call themselves “a nice guy”
complain about the “friend zone”
“don’t understand why she does for this jerk and not me!!! I’m so NICE!!1!”
think they know better, always
think that women are fuck-hungry whores
think they can’t get laid because women are too stupid to realize how nice they are
think that women who don’t want to date them have “issues”
think that women only go for “jerks”
think they are entitled to good things because of their “niceness”

Basically, being a Nice Guy™ is 110% about playing the victim. They think that the world owes them good things and hot women and all the awards because they’re not serial killing date rapists who beat women and children and burn down Russian orphanages filled with disabled and cancer-ridden toddlers. They think that common courtesy entitles them to whatever they want. They’re big believers that the issue of misandry is a bigger problem than rape, unfair pay, unsafe work conditions, media exploitation of women, and an overall misogynist society, because steriotyped ads and the expectation to like football if you have a penis outranks date-rape. They also have no idea of what the word nice actually means, obviously.

Nice Guys™ are also 110% misogynists. They believe that women are objects to use, quests to conquer, and slaves to serve them. You will often hear them say that “girls only like jerks,” or “she has daddy issues,” or “she’s a fucking slut.”

Here is why we don’t want to date you, Nice Guys™. Because you think you’re entitled to dating us. Our consent means nothing. We have to have a reason not to like you. And there are many, but you want us to list them, and the list is never long enough to convince you. You don’t see us as people with feelings. Life is so fucking hard for you and wah wah wah fuck me or you’re a ugly fat bitch women are so gosh-darned mean!

The dudes we date aren’t automatically jerks because they’re not you. We have the right to be physically attracted to someone. A good relationship can’t function on good conversation alone. If at the end of the night we gag when you get naked, it’s not gonna work. Relationships are complicated and times aren’t always good. People make mistakes, and I can guarantee you we don’t intentionally date douchebags. We don’t find out till later how shitty they are. And guess what? We are entitled to some things, and in a completely different way than you think you are. We are entitled to making mistakes, and dating jerks, and also dating cool dudes, and actual nice guys, and having fuck-buddies, and being as slutty as we gosh-darned please because it’s none of your fucking business. We’re entitled to not liking you. We’re entitled to not being attracted to you. We’re entitled to thinking that just because you have a penis and I have a vagina that doesn’t mean we can’t have a functional, non-sexual relationship. We’re entitled to receiving gifts without repaying you with sex. Actually, we’re entitled to never repaying you with sex for any situation at any time in any fucking universe. We are entitled to free will, and to kicking your ass to the curb because you think we’re not.

1462

September 3 - Fucking Nice Guys.

Nice Guy Syndrome. Chances are, you know someone who has it. They may have it, and may not have told you. You have undoubtedly met someone with Nice Guy Syndrome sometime in your life. Now let’s be clear, there’s a difference between nice guys and Nice Guys.

You’re at the book store, minding your own business. You’ve had a bad day, you just want to read your book, ignore humanity, and relax. Enter the Nice Guy. He may smile at you shyly and casually introduce himself. He may even be cute. But you see, you’re in no humor for this. You deadpan, “Hi,” and go back to your book. But he is nonplussed. He asks you what you’re reading and if you’re enjoying it. You think, Well, dude, I’m not exactly reading it anymore, cause you’re too busy chatting me up, ain’t that right? You muster up as much of an answer as you can to his questions, and repeatedly turn your gaze back to your book to try to signify that this conversation is over and that you want to be left alone. And here is where his Nice Guy Syndrome has a flare up. “Why are you being so rude?” he asked, frustrated. “I’m just trying to talk to you.”

You see, ladies and gents, a nice guy would accept that you are not in the mood to be talked to, and walk away. He might give you a parting word, but he realizes that while he may just be trying to talk to you, you don’t want to talk to him. And that’s okay. But, a Nice Guy is being nice to you, and that is a precious gift on his part, you see. He doesn’t have to be nice to you. But he is. And because he isn’t being an asshole to you, he is entitled to a few friendly words from you. You don’t get to be rude to him, he’s being nice!

So fuck the Nice Guys. Because you are not entitled to my affection simply because you don’t smack my ass and call me Honey.

Whether you have Truck Stop breath and leer at me or kiss my knuckles and call me Lady, I have the right to decide whether or not I want to talk to you. If I’m simply not in the mood to converse, I have that right. Your niceness does not entitle you to anything. I have the right to be as rude as I please if I feel that you’re being invasive, creepy, getting too close, will not leave me alone, or are making me feel unsafe. And often times, when I encounter a Nice Guy, that’s what I feel. Unsafe. How far is he going to take this? Is he going to pop up somewhere else in the mall? Will he follow me? Will he harass me? Will he grab me? Nice Guys are anything but nice.

A girl is not a bitch because she isn’t in the mood to talk to you. Expecting a girl to welcome all advances is wrong on so many levels, because you are not entitled to affection from any woman for any reason, and she doesn’t have to be nice to you, even if you’re being Nice to her.

Basically, Nice Guy at the bookstore, fuck you. Your haircut was cheap anyways.