I want the deepest, darkest, sickest parts of you that you are afraid to share with anyone because I love you that much. And now I'm showing you mine. I'm but an average, untalented girl living in suburbia attempting self-discovery. I am ordinary. I live an easy life and yet I'm still unhappy; I'm hoping keeping track of my thoughts will make this easier to understand. I care little for other people's emotions. I lie to others to make my own life easier, but not ever to ease their suffering. I will not lie to you. My thoughts are my own, not easy words fed to me by my parents or my government. I am part of no church, and I believe in no god. The only thing I need to be saved from is my own mental unrest. I ate his heart then I swallowed his brain. If you don't love me back, I'll do it again.
November 13 - I was dead when I woke up this morning, and I’ll be dead before the day is done.
I just unfollowed 400 people on my main Tumblr. First getting rid of anyone who hasn’t updated recently, then getting rid of fandom tumblrs, then any tumblr that blogs about wishing to be thinner, then any blog about teenage angst.
I’m trying to get as much negative energy out of my life as possible. I hate tumblr these days, and I’ve realized that so much of it is contributing to my unhappiness. So I’m cutting out all the things that affect me negatively.
I’m often embarrassed about trying to be happy, or trying in general. I don’t know why. But I need to stop. I want to have a positive day, and a positive week, and a positive life. And that takes work.
Starting with Tumblr. Ha.
